Values are possibly the most important component of stable mental health and sustained happiness. Because they help us define what’s important.

When we lack clarity on what’s important, we feel stuck and overwhelmed with making life decisions. Every option can seem both life-and-death important and completely meaningless. Values serve as the internal compass that drives every decision, every commitment, and every sacrifice.

This is the first article in a series on values: what they are, how to find yours, and how to use them to build a life that genuinely feels like yours.

What Are Values, Really?

A value is a belief that something is good or desirable and worth striving for, regardless of context or circumstance.

Values aren’t the same as needs or preferences, though they do shape both. And they’re different from goals. A goal is a target you can reach and cross off a list (getting a job, running a marathon); a value is the ongoing direction you travel in (honesty, growth, service). Goals end. Values don’t.

Psychologist Shalom Schwartz identified six properties that distinguish values from other motivations [1]:

1. They are linked to emotion. People feel strongly about what they value. When a value is activated, it’s infused with feeling. Someone who values independence will feel anxious when their freedom is threatened, helpless if they can’t protect it, and genuinely alive when they can fully express it. In this sense, our values are extensions of ourselves.
2. They motivate action. Values don’t just describe what you believe, they drive what you do. Those who prioritize justice or helpfulness don’t just think about it; they act on it.
3. They apply across contexts. Unlike preferences or norms tied to specific situations, values travel with you. If you value loyalty, you value it at work, at home, in politics, and in friendship.
4. They serve as standards for judgement. Values are how you decide what’s good, justified, or worth pursuing. While values often operate in the background of your mind, they come into awareness when you face decisions with significant or conflicting implications.
5. They are ranked. You don’t hold all values equally. One person ranks achievement above fairness; another does the reverse. That ordering — not the values themselves — is what defines your choices.
6. They involve trade-offs. Pursuing one value often means compromising another. Honesty can conflict with loyalty. Ambition can crowd out rest. Much of what we call “inner conflict” is really values in tension.

Why This Matters

Most people feel vaguely lost at some point. Not because they lack intelligence, effort, or opportunity, but because they’ve never been taught to ask what they actually want their life to mean.

When we lack clarity on what matters, every decision feels both urgent and arbitrary at once. We commit to relationships, jobs, and projects that look right from the outside, and then wonder why we feel hollow. We achieve things and feel nothing. We can’t explain why we’re tired.

But when your values are clear, something shifts. You stop chasing what sounds impressive and start building toward what feels true.

The research on this is consistent. People who know and live by their values tend to experience:

1. Less stress, more peace: Living true to your values reduces internal conflict, leading to better mental health and a measurably calmer stress response.
2. Greater resilience: Your values are an emotional anchor. They make you more stable when things fall apart, because you know what you’re standing on.
3. Meaningful happiness: Life satisfaction comes not from external success, but from pursuing what you find meaningful. Values are how you find that.
4. Mental clarity: When your actions match your beliefs, there’s less mental friction. This cognitive alignment leads to clearer thinking and more confident decision-making, without the fog of regret or self-doubt.
5. Better relationships: Living authentically according to your values fosters trust and understanding in relationships. It encourages healthy interactions and attracts people who respect you for who you are, leading to stronger social connections.
6. Sustained motivation: Values give you a why that doesn’t expire. They ignite your internal motivation and help you stick to your goals, making it more likely that you’ll achieve outcomes that truly satisfy you.
7. A stronger identity: Knowing your values means knowing who you are, independent of others’ opinions. It makes you less susceptible to peer pressure and fear of missing out, and less likely to let society define success for you.

A Map of Values

Below is a broad reference list of personal values, organized by theme. Don’t try to claim or memorize all of them. Instead, read slowly and notice which ones produce a quiet sense of recognition, a yes, that’s me, even if you’ve never said it out loud.

Core Character

• Authenticity: Being genuine and true to your own personality, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Integrity: Acting according to your moral principles, especially when no one is watching.
• Accountability: Taking responsibility for your actions, decisions, and their consequences.
• Honesty: Being truthful and sincere in your words and actions.
• Courage: Facing fear, difficulty, or uncertainty with strength and resilience.
• Humility: Having a modest view of one’s own importance; being grounded.
• Resilience: The capacity to recover and grow from difficulty.
• Self-Discipline: The ability to act in line with your intentions, not just your impulses.

Relationships & Community

• Connection: A sense of belonging, closeness, and being truly seen by others.
• Compassion: Genuine concern for the suffering of others, and the willingness to act on it.
• Kindness: Being considerate, generous, and warm in everyday life.
• Loyalty: A deep feeling of support and allegiance toward people or principles you believe in.
• Respect: Treating others with consideration and recognizing their inherent worth.
• Forgiveness: Letting go of resentment and anger toward those who have wronged you.
• Family: Cherishing and investing in relationships with those closest to you.
• Friendship: Cultivating deep, reciprocal bonds built on trust and presence.

Fulfillment

• Growth: A commitment to continuous learning and self-improvement.
• Learning: Pursuing knowledge, understanding, and new skills for their own sake.
• Wisdom: Using experience, knowledge, and good judgment to make decisions.
• Self-awareness: Having a clear perception of your personality, strengths, and weaknesses.
• Curiosity: A genuine desire to explore, question, and discover.
• Adventure: Seeking out novel, challenging, or exciting experiences.
• Creativity: Using imagination or original ideas to create something.
• Freedom / Autonomy: The capacity to act, speak, and choose without undue constraint.
• Stability / Security / Comfort: Valuing predictability, safety, and the peace of a settled life.

Purpose & Contribution

• Service: Dedicating energy to the well-being of others and your community.
• Generosity: Giving freely of your time, resources, or attention.
• Justice: Standing for fairness, equality and righteous treatment for all.
• Leadership: Guiding and inspiring others toward something meaningful.
• Legacy: Building something that outlasts you and benefits those who come after.
• Making a difference: Having a positive impact on the world or people around you.
• Sustainability: Living in a way that protects the environment and future generations.

Work & Achievement

• Excellence: Striving for the highest quality in what you do.
• Diligence: Showing up with care and persistence, even when it’s hard.
• Ambition: A drive to grow, create, and achieve.
• Mastery: The commitment to becoming highly skilled or expert in something.
• Reliability: Being someone others can count on.
• Efficiency: Achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort.
• Innovation: Searching for better ways of doing and thinking.

Well-being

• Health (physical / mental): Prioritizing the well-being of your body and mind.
• Peace: Seeking inner calm, tranquility, and freedom from stress.
• Balance: Maintaining equilibrium across the different areas of your life.
• Gratitude: Appreciating and being thankful for what you have.
• Mindfulness: Being consciously present and engaged in the current moment.
• Simplicity: Embracing a less complicated, uncluttered life and mindset.
• Joy / Happiness: Pursuing and appreciating experiences of pleasure and contentment.

Before you move on, pause for a moment. Look back at the list. Which word made you stop? Which one felt like a quiet yes?

You don’t need to analyze it. You don’t need to be certain. Just notice.

That instinct is where this work begins.

In Part II, we’ll explore concrete methods for surfacing your actual core values. Not the ones you think you should have, but the ones already shaping your life. Because knowing what matters intellectually is different from knowing it in your bones.

[1] Schwartz, S. H. (2012). An overview of the Schwartz Theory of Basic Values. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 2(1).

This article was adapted from “Your Values Guide” by Mark Manson.